Celebrating Her

One day, she stood up to give the story of her life. She was born and brought up by peasant parents. She grew up with a harsh alcoholic father who left the family without a single meal. Her mother was voiceless. Her father disliked her, and this made her childhood very difficult. Every morning, she would walk at least five kilometres to get to school. That was after fetching water and carrying a load of firewood that early morning. From time to time her father would shout from outside the house saying how he wouldn’t waste his money educating a woman. This would prick her heart. She finished her primary education and performed well. The milestone came when her strict father forced her to undergo ‘the cut’ as was the culture of the people, and then get married off to that famous retired chief as his 11^th wife so that he could receive a huge dowry payment. That was impossible! She thought to herself. Her dreams could not be cut off by anyone. She had to go to high school, she had to become the star of the village. Oh she had to save other girls from her village. She had to arise…and be bold…and change the current situation in her community.

Finally she falls into rescuers’ arms and is taken to high school. In high school, life is all different. She is from the village. Her outward appearance was very plain and she could not afford fancy clothing, makeup, or expensive hairstyles. She had a very hard time to socialise because she couldn’t even communicate fluently in English or Kiswahili. But something great happened at this sensitive period of her life, she knew the Lord. Instead of feeling bitter over the rejection she had experienced or frustration over her lack of material possessions, she trusted God to take care of her. She developed a strong prayer life and asked God to make her beautiful. She worked hard and grew strong in faith, believing that God would provide all she needed. Life happened. School ended. A job came…and a spouse as well as three children. She runs an organisation for rescuing girls and sending them to school. Her house is always full of girls she is sponsoring, she is now a mother of nations. Many girls have found life through her. She is truly a heroine.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day (IWD), I am proud to celebrate women who in their capacity are involved in activities that empower and inspire nations. It could range all the way from having big companies to being a responsible mother, wife or sister in the house. I also celebrate women who have an irresistible character and inner beauty. I celebrate those who are fully dependent on God, seeking Him first and who are committed to becoming the lady God wants them to become. I celebrate those who are selfless, always seeking the best interest of others, who give friendship whole heartedly and who build positive qualities in others. I celebrate those who despite of going through hard and tough times have trusted in God and have learnt to patiently wait for a sunshine. I celebrate women who have laid down their lives for their families and friends.

As a woman you might not have achieved much so far, you might be feeling like your progress is delayed. You might have had major frustrations from life experiences that left you broken, but today I want you to arise. If the world can find a reason to celebrate you, you have a reason to celebrate yourself. Realise that God has created something beautiful in you. The Bible says “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. The Lord wants you to be a Lady of Virtue – a costly, beautiful pearl for all to admire.

I celebrate you. Happy International Women’s Day!!!

Much Love,

Fidi.

Sex as a Package-In getting real as a Christian

I desire to get married someday. And so is everyone else who is not – or so do I think. But before that, a courtship period whereby one needs to know this other person as they devote to God is very important. I have to admit that the topic of sex is the most sensitive not only among the youth but also in the church. However we need to talk about it as realistically as we can in order to propagate knowledge among believers. In highlighting physical intimacy in relationships, it is worth knowing how to handle it and the extent to which it should be embraced. Many Christian couples have the conviction that sex should be saved for marriage. Unfortunately, all this really means is that they’re saving intercourse for marriage. We are living in a generation that views sex so shallowly that caressing, petting and kissing and the like are just normal. We have dissected the sex act into stages so that we can justify enjoying lovemaking outside of marriage. Let us describe these acts individually so that we can add up the math to equal to one.

As John White puts it, “Defining coitus (sex) in terms of penetration is as difficult as trying to define a beard by the number of hairs on a chin.” He goes on to reveal just how silly it is to try to break the passion of lovemaking into stages: Is there any difference between two naked people in bed cuddling and another two having intercourse? Is one act less sinful than the other? Is it perhaps more righteous to pet with clothes on? If so, which is worse, to pet with clothes off or to have intercourse with clothes on? A look can be as sensual as touch, and a finger brushed lightly over a cheek as erotic as penetration. You may accuse me of being crude. Far from it…If we pursue the argument far enough, we will see that these details of behaviour (dressing or undressing, touching, holding, looking) and parts of the body (fingers, hair, arms, breasts, lips or even genitalia) can satisfy a person sexually regardless of whether penetration happened or not.

Kissing is just another part of the whole package of sexual union. Kissing, which quickly turns passionate when you are in love, carries an intention to light a fire. In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for kiss is derived from the primary root meaning “to kindle.” If you do not want to light a fire, why open the matchbox? “If you are not baking, why preheat the oven?” We see this truth reflected in writings from Scripture. Song of Solomon 8:4 says do not arouse love until the right time. A kiss is (and should be) an awakening. Can you kiss to the glory of God before marriage? Maybe there are many couples who can. But to avoid temptation, be willing to refrain. There are other ways of showing affection without arousing passion. When it comes to a physical relationship, “the beginning and the ending of passion are inseparable.” Ask yourself, “Why is it so important to me that we be kissing now? Is my sinful heart deceiving me? Am I being motivated by lust?” The thing that matters is our motive and the fruit of our actions.

We can’t make certain parts of sexual intimacy meaningful and others meaningless -it’s all precious! It is as ridiculous to say, “It’s just a kiss!” as it is to say, “It’s just intercourse!” They’re both part of the amazing and mysterious package of sexual intimacy, which God created so that husbands and wives can become “one flesh.” Let’s treat it all as precious!

We’re the ones who lose when we make any other form of physical intimacy “no big deal.” Even our kissing should be informed by an overriding desire to glorify God and to be captivated by sex within marriage. God never intended the engagement period to be a time for physical experimenting, for peeking under the wrapping paper. No one tells you about the pain and regret at the end of it all, but if you knew the consequences you would not want to start what you cannot finish.

As Christians, we need to take time to consider the deeper significance of this thing that many of us have learned to treat casually.

This article draws a lot of reference from Joshua Harris Boy Meets Girl-Say Hello to Courtship. I would recommend it to you. Please read it. If interested please hit my email njerifidia@gmail.com or WhatsApp @+254713927987 and I will be glad to share it with you.

More Love,

Fidi.

Very very Light Moments

After such a hectic morning, I thought I needed a breather. And I could only achieve it by sharing some of my interesting moments.

There’s this lesso my mum gave me. You know the way our African mums always tell us “msichana hafai kutembea bila lesso kwa bag” (a lady should always have a lesso in her handbag).

I took the lesso, but I thought it was too pretty to just lie in a handbag.  So this is what I did.

I put a white lace on the top part (I think its called bodice-forgive me tailors and designers) to compliment the prints on the skirt.

And the first time I put on the dress,  we had a lovely time with these beauties.

Oh and some more friends later that evening 🙂

Hope you enjoy. Always feel free to comment.

Blessings always,

Fidi